Right Now

Greetings, once again, from Refuge Ranch! Want to know what's happening...right now?! It is 9:52 a.m. and here goes:

Victor: preparing his sermon for church this Sunday (He preaches periodically.)

Julie: writing this blog (duh!)

Angie: drying dishes

Diana: caring for Caleb, Ruth, Ana and Daniel (Each of the older girls cares for the little ones a different day of the week.)

Martita: washing breakfast dishes

Martha: in school

Fidel: in school

Josiah: playing outside trying to get out of school until I get there!

Jocelin: clearing the breakfast table(s)

Caleb: outside with Diana and his youngest siblings (They are going on a bird-feeding expedition in an open field in front of the main house.)

Ruth: on the bird-feeding expedition

Ana: on the bird-feeding expedition

Daniel: on the bird-feeding expedition

Mark: dry walling the apartment in the basement
Lucy: in school

Aaron: in school
Joanna: in school

Ashleigh: canning pickle relish
Magda: running personal errands in Mexico City

Erika: in school

Cirino: eating breakfast

Bernabe and Berenice: eating breakfast with their dad

Rosa: cleaning up from breakfast and starting lunch preparations

AND...

Two very special visitors: Jerry and Troy from Indiana are here working on dry walling the basement apartment and laundry room! Yeah!

Jerry is a member at Shiloh Christian Church and Troy is from Upper Deer Creek Church and they both heard the Lord calling them to come and help with the dry walling of the Marshall's apartment and the laundry room in the main house. Praise the Lord!

They arrived Saturday night, after a two hour delay in Houston, and enjoyed a relaxing Sunday with the Marshall family and Ashleigh visiting Popo (the volcano near our home) and an abandoned hacienda also near Refuge Ranch.

Yesterday they started the drywall process! How exciting! It is always slow going on the first day of a work team as the workers adjust to new and creative ways of working here in Mexico, so they are looking forward to making lots of progress today.

We thank the Lord that He provided for the drywall through the sale of Mark and Lucy's home in Indiana. Marshall's tithed off that sale and were able to purchase the drywall supplies. As always, we continue to pray for and trust in the Lord's provision for the remaining money needed to finish the apartment and laundry room.

Troy and Josiah playing checkers, no, maybe it's chess, no, I think it is a new game invented by Josiah, but they had fun nonetheless.

Mark and Jerry playing UNO with Jocelin while Lucy looks on.

May the Lord richly bless you all with His peace, presence, purposes and provision in this Christmas season and beyond!

With love,

Julie Zaragoza

"Christmas in the Basement" by Ashleigh

The Christmas tree in the basement

There are many things that I love about Christmas. Most of them don't happen in Mexico. For instance snow, caroling, bundling up and snuggling in blankets, baking with and for my family, sitting with my family drinking coffee in the evenings and looking at the Christmas light strung all over the house.

Now before I give the impression that I am mourning a loss let me assure you that I am not. I am looking forward to adding to the list. I have a sense of anticipation to what Christmas will be like this year. So far, I have gone through a hedge maze at the tree farm, decorated the tree with the Marshall family as they shared memories about many of the ornaments, and I am anticipating making gingerbread houses with the kids for art class in a week (which they have never done) just to name a few.

I greatly enjoyed helping and watching the Marshall's decorate the tree and see them interact as a family. They joyfully shared memories about ornaments or stories of past Christmases that were brought back to mind. I was encouraged to know that there were other people to share the joy of the season with this year. They got excited about a tree, fully incorporated me into the decorating process, and allow me to join in on their family time. God knew how much I needed that for my first Christmas season away from home.

I know Julie shared a little last Monday on what Christmas is like in Mexico. However, I wanted to share a little bit of where my heart and prayers have been also that you may join me in prayer. There is power in numbers!

Luke: 2:10 says, "But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people...'"

The Christmas season is all about the great joy that we have because of the good news we have received. This joy is given to all who believe the good news but we have to chose to receive it and live out of it. That is the focus of my prayers and desires the the children this month. That God would open up their hearts and minds to understand the great joy that they have been given with the good news of Christ! That the enemy would not allow them to dwell on what they "missed" but that God would show them what they have in Him. Please join me in praying that God would be triumphant this season in each one of the children's hearts.

Glory and Majesty by Lucy

El Popo is the active volcano we can see from Refuge Ranch. On a clear day, it is absolutely stunning in its beauty. This morning I decided to do my devotions outside. The sun is shining from behind and to the right of Popo. The sky is blue in that direction, but cloudy and dark in the opposite direction. The sun is shining on the undersides of those clouds, giving them a slightly pinkish hue. I wonder which way the clouds will move? Will they continue down the valley, leaving us with blue sky and a clear view of Popo? Or move toward Popo, covering it and obliterating the sunshine for a time? Either way, I know Popo will still be there, in all its majesty. I've never seen such beauty in the skyline, as I've seen here. It always feels like a promise of what is to come someday.

Some days I feel like my life is filled with clouds, and it is hard to see God, to feel close to Him. But I can rest assured that He is always there. Sometimes I catch just a glimpse of Him peeking through the clouds in my life (Like Popo on a cloudy day), reminding me He is still there. And other times, the clouds are completely gone, and He shines through with a brightness beyond compare. I thank God for His reminders of His majesty each and every day, whether we can see them physically or not. And someday, we will truly see His majesty in all its glory! What a day that will be!

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. 1 Chronicles 29:11

Holiday Realities

It is 6:45 a.m. here at Refuge Ranch and I just opened the curtains of my office to let the sunrise in and....it is really foggy today! Wow! Too bad homeschoolers can't call fog delays!

Like many of you, our family is in the midst of the throes of celebrating this Christmas season. We, along with the staff from Refuge Ranch, trekked to the Christmas tree farm last Friday and cut down two trees - one for the house and one for the basement where we homeschool and our staff lives. After choosing the trees and cutting them down, we had a cookout, played on a swinging bridge playground and went through a labrynth formed by pine bushes. Now, before you all say: "Ahh, what a time of beautiful family unity", let me give you another take on holidays here at Refuge Ranch.

Before I begin, here is a misclaimer - this Thanksgiving and the first preparations for Christmas have gone better this year than any year previous, but they are still not anywhere near "easy" nor fully enjoyable. Read on to find out why!

There are many days that, praise the Lord, I nearly forget each of my children's pasts, where they have come from and what they have suffered. The Lord has done, and continues to do, a miraculous work of restoration in each of their lives. I know only bits and pieces of their abusive childhoods. Even they themselves are not consciously aware of all that they have suffered, but are discovering new scars as they grow older. These scars and memories seem to most rear their ugly heads during family festivities - birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas, tainting each one of these events and threatening to steal the joy that the Lord has prepared for us!

For example, just last week, in order to celebrate Thanksgiving, we spent two entire days preparing for the event and, at the last minute, Victor and I were showering and getting on our Sunday clothes for Thanksgiving dinner. One of our daughters came in and, in a tone of voice that teenagers seem to have perfected, said: "Why are you getting so dressed up? What's the big deal?" when she had been a part of the preparations and knew exactly what the "big deal" was. That same child then looked at the thank you notes that I had handwritten for each member of the family and staff and left at their place settings and said: "What are these for?" but with a voice full of mistrust, insecurities and judgement. Ugh! It is so much easier to reject love and inclusion rather than go through the work to learn how to receive and give love.

So, Friday we took off for the Christmas tree farm! In past years this usually means that upon arriving at the farm the older kids disappear between the pine trees, trying to deny the fact that Christmas is coming, while Victor and I do our best to pick out the tree, only to get home and hear complaint after complaint about how ugly the tree is! This year two of our oldest daughters shouted at us from across the tree farm that they had found a tree! My heart lept, I mean, really lept, for joy as Victor and I went to "inspect" their find! Mind you, I didn't care what that tree would have looked like - they had shown an interest in participating in this family tradition and I was going to encourage that as much as possible - the tree they chose was the tree that was coming home with us! (They did do a good job of picking it out - it is gorgeous and it is even more gorgeous because they picked it out!)

Upon arriving at home, I had the help of the youngest children in doing a fine job of "sorting" Christmas tree ornaments as they spread them all over the living room floor. The older children's absence was notorious as they sought refuge in their bedrooms. Soon, one of the girls came back and, praise the Lord, joyfully and energetically helped me string the lights on the tree. Slowly, each one of the kids showed up and began to at least hang around the edges of the living room and even began to participate in small ways. One helped hang up the stockings around the living room window (the fireplace does not have room for 13 stockings!). Another found a broken ornament and fixed it for me voluntarily, refusing to hang it on the tree, but it was a huge step that this individual was even present in the room as we decorated the tree and an even bigger step was taken by offering to fix the ornament!

These attitudes are the ones that we confront as we do advent devotionals, wrap Christmas gifts, plan Christmas dinner and especially on Christmas morning! Why?

The other day one of our kids said: "I hate Christmas." I nonchalantly responded, "Why?" This person answered back: "Because it's about family." I gently reminded this individual that Christmas is not about family, it is about Jesus Christ, God Almighty, taking the form of a human being and coming to earth to save us from our sins! Lord, help us focus on this!

Why is Christmas and family so painful for our kids? For some, our family traditions are acute reminders of all they did NOT have as younger children, reminders of what "should have been" and never was. For some, while they love us, the Christmas season and birthdays are a blatant reminder to them that they would really like to be celebrating these days with their biological families, but that that is not possible. For others, Christmas meant a time of heightened drunkeness as their biological parents sought refuge in alcohol, resulting in more family violence and abuse than the rest of the year. So, while for me, Christmas lights are a reminder of peace and joy, for several of our children, Christmas lights are a reminder of conflict, drunken rages, and physical and emotional abuse. Lord, have mercy!

I share this so that you can pray, and pray with a passion, this Christmas season. Please pray that the Lord would continue to fully restore our children's hearts and lives. Please pray for love, patience and perseverance as Victor and I and the staff seek to lead our children in a Godly celebration. Please pray that the Lord would pour His joy and peace upon our family.

(I have not included any pictures in this blog so as to protect the identity of the children as to who participated and who did not. One of our biggest challenges in sharing with you through the blog, the newsletters and the prayer calendar, is being specific enough so that you can share in our joys and trials, while protecting the privacy of each of the children. Thank you for your patience, understanding and sensitivity!)

With much love,
Julie Zaragoza

"Thanksgiving" by Ashleigh

There are so many things that I can be thankful for this year. One of the most recent would definitely be the visit I had with my brothers here in Mexico! Here are a couple of pictures from their visit.

Ana and Daniel

Stephen and Me

Stephen and Daniel at the hacienda

Daniel and Stephen helped me paint Rosa's room while she was gone on crusade. They played numerous games of soccer with the kids. We went to the hacienda and played games with the older kids. They helped me with my preschool classes, etc.

I said goodbye to them on Tuesday at the airport and then got back to the Ranch in time to help start the Thanksgiving activities. On Tuesday afternoon we spent some time learning about Thanksgiving. Aaron prepared a history lesson and some fun facts about Thanksgiving to share with everyone else. Lucy and Julie worked with the younger ones with a craft and I took the older ones and challenged them to think of things that they are not currently being grateful for and picking something specific to work on becoming more grateful about.

Wednesday was baking day and this year ( mainly because we had more help) the kids participated. Julie made deviled eggs with Aaron, Josiah, Jocelin, and Fidel. Lucy made rolls with Ruth, Caleb, Martha and Joanna. I made pies with Angie, Diana, and Martita. Everything was made successfully and the kids really enjoyed it.

Thursday Lucy and I finished up the rest of the menu and Magda made the mashed potatoes. At two o'clock we all sat down to a feast! The kids seemed to be much more involved and excited this year then last year. I believe it is greatly attributed to the Marhsalls being here, their participation with the preparation, and deeper understanding of what the holiday is all about. This was Magda, Erika, and Rosa's first Thanksgiving dinner and although some of the food was very different for them they said that they liked it! :)

It is getting late this morning I need to get going. Today we are headed out to get the Christmas tree! :)

Count Your Blessings by Mark

Johnson Oatman Jr. wrote the hymn, Count Your Blessings, which I have been thinking about quite a bit lately. If you are reading this from the United States, you are probably getting ready for Thanksgiving. We are also getting ready for Thanksgiving at Refuge Ranch. The kids are learning about what the holiday is all about. Aaron presented an American history lesson with details about the first Thanksgiving. The preschoolers have been building a turkey shaped piñata, which will be opened on T-day. The elementary kids made turkey shaped napkin rings with their thanks written on the tail feathers. The older kids have written about what they are thankful for.

Of all the “stuff” with which I have been blessed I have to say that the people in my life are my greatest blessing, other than the gift of salvation of course. Last week I joined an amazing group of people who do indescribable work. I went on my first EMMC. I have heard about these trips and I have seen pictures, but to experience it first hand is overwhelming. Doctors, dentists, hairstylists, and opticians all working for Christ, dedicated to helping people because Christ first loved us. This group is more than a team of professional caregivers. They are a close-knit family who loves every person who comes for aid. I was also amazed at how included I felt in the family. I could probably write every word I know in Spanish on one piece of paper, and still have room to write all my medical knowledge, but I felt very included. I am looking forward to building these relationships in the future.

Gabrial and Mia Clowning in Tabasco

EMMC in the state of Tabasco; the hands and feet of Christ

While I was gone, two of Ashleigh’s brothers were visiting. I got to spend a couple of days with them when I got back. We had a great time together and I wish I could have been here the whole time they were, but I would not trade the EMMC time. They have returned to the States and will be spending Thanksgiving with their family and friends.

I would like to add a challenge for you with this verse: Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving (Colossians 4:2 NIV). As you gather with your family and friends for the holiday, give up the stress and enjoy each other with an attitude of thanksgiving. As you return to your life’s routine be thankful for all the people in your life. The relationships we have with each other may be the most overlooked blessings we have. Count your blessings.

One-on-One Time

Throughout the week I spend a half an hour of one-on-one time with each of our kids, from Ruth on up. Mondays are for Ruth and Angie; Tuesdays include Caleb and Diana; Wednesdays are Martha (plus bathtime); Thursdays are Josiah and Martita; and Fridays are for Fidel and Jocelin. The younger kids get their half hour right after dinner and the older kids spend it with me after the others have gone to bed.

The kids choose what they want to do with me during their half an hour. Activities can range from soccer to chess and from Barbies to Skip-Bo.

Since Ruth turned four years old a couple of weeks ago, I have started spending specific one-on-one time with her also. So, today she choose to play school. Despite the fact that I was at school from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m., she and I went back up to school after dinner, but now SHE was the teacher! She invited Caleb along, so he and I sat on the student side of my desk (where the kids sit when they have questions or need my help) and Ruth sat where I normally sit during a school day. We had a blast!




It was hilarious to be a part of her role play! It was incredible (scary?) the number of things that she tried to do just like Ashleigh and I do during a school day. (Ashleigh is Ruth's preschool teacher.)


Here's a sampling of Ruth's comments as she "taught" Caleb and I:

• First, she gave Caleb and I paper and pencil and we had to copy a flower, just like hers. It had to be a circle, with petals, a stem, one leaf, water at the bottom, two eyes, a smile and a tongue sticking out! When I asked her if I had done a good enough job to earn a sticker, she got out the stickers and stuck it right on top of the picture Caleb had drawn. He and I looked at each other because covering up the picture with the sticker seemed a little strange to us. Then Ashleigh walked in and I told her about the sticker situation and she started to laugh and brought me one of Ruth's preschool papers. During preschool, Ashleigh plays "Bingo" with the kids and has them put stickers on top of pictures to cover up the spaces that she calls out. Hence, the logic behind covering up the picture with the sticker! When Ruth gets a sticker it is to put ON TOP of the picture!


• Then she got out the scissors and we had to cut the paper into pieces! (She and Bernabe do lots of cutting with Ashleigh in preschool.)


• A few minutes later, Caleb was not cooperating and Ruth promptly turned and in her bossiest voice pronounced: "Here you do what I tell you!" (Oops, have those words come out of my mouth? I think Josiah got to hear those just today!)


• Soon, Ruth got out the flash cards. (We use lots of flash cards for English vocabulary, math facts, etc, just ask Lucy who spends several hours a day doing flash cards with all of the kids!) Well, Ruth pulled out some multiplication cards, showed the top one to me, pointed to the number three and asked: "What animal does three say?" Now, that question may seem illogical, but our reading curriculum and English curriculum use animals to represent each of the phonetic sounds. So, as the kids learn to read, if they can't remember what sound a letter makes we ask: "What animal does this letter read?" They say the animal name, which then reminds them of the letter sound. So, not yet putting this all together and not fully understanding Ruth's question, I responded, "Three." "No," she said. "What animal does three say?" I said, "Tiger...t, t, t." (We were speaking in Spanish so "tres" makes the "t" sound.) "Yes!", she said and went to the next flashcard. "What animal does four (cuatro) say?" "Canguro (Kangaroo)", I obediently answered. "C, c, c, canguro!" Needless to say, my teacher Ruth was very proud of me for answering correctly so quickly!

• A little while into our playtime, Ashleigh walked into the school area and began asking around about who had drank part of her Coke! She had left her bottle of Coke on her preschool bookshelf and it was now uncapped and partially empy! Ruth, with no qualms or embarassment said: "I did!" Ashleigh and I looked at each other with a puzzled look in our faces and then burst out laughing as we both realized that the Coke drinking was part of fulfilling her teaching role! Several times a week Ashleigh or I will drink a Coke to get us through that afternoon slump, so, in Ruth's estimation, if you are going to be a teacher you need to drink Coke! (Another oops?!)


• However, the following situation made me laugh the most. As I mentioned, we started out our time sitting at my desk. Since my desk is located near a sky light, there is not a light in the ceiling near my desk because during the daytime the sky light provides all the necessary lighting, while there are regular ceiling lights throughout the rest of the schoolroom. It was already dark outside as we spent our time together, so the area around my desk was quite dim. A few minutes into our playtime Ruth announced, "Let's move over to Caleb's office (his work area for regular school) because this dark scares me." We had to move our "class" because the teacher was afraid of the dark! (Joanna reminded me that we, as Christians, should also flee from the darkness and into the light - God's light! Wow! What you can't learn from a four year old and thirteen year old!)

Sometimes it is really hard for me to carve out the time for the kids because I am tired, or would rather get some more work done or because Barbies or soccer do not naturally appeal to me. But, I cannot express how meaningful this time is for the kids our how important it is to my parenting them and connecting with them. So, next week I just might have to go to "school" again!

In Jesus' school of life,

Julie