Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fidel and Daniel - Putting Them Back Together

This picture was taken over a month ago when Daniel had been a part of our family for a little over a week. This was the first time that Fidel, our 8 year old adopted son had interacted with Daniel at all since he had arrived. In fact, the night that Victor and I arrived home with Daniel, while the rest of the family came running downstairs to meet their new sibling, Fidel stayed in his room. I had to go up to say good night because he never came down.

I had noticed that while we got ready for Daniel's arrival, Fidel was having some trouble assimilating the arrival of a new brother. A few days before we were to leave and go pick up Daniel, I was getting his crib ready and Fidel walked into the bedroom. He asked me why he couldn't sleep in Daniel's crib. Fidel's logical reasoning isn't one of his strengths, so that question in and of itself didn't surprise me. He can ask some pretty crazy questions! I nonchalantly explained that he was too big for the crib and that it could break. His reasoning? "Mom, I don't weigh that much!" We laughed and left it at that.

Shortly after that, I had Ashleigh go shopping for the last items we needed for Daniel. We had been told by the missionaries with whom he was living that he loved horses, so I had Ashleigh pick up a wooden rocking horse for him (and another for the other little ones in an effort to reduce the fighting!)

Later on that day, our daughter Martha came up to me and commented, "Mom, Fidel is having a hard time with Daniel coming, isn't he?" I said, "Yeah, I've noticed that, but how do you know?" She responded, "Well, because today Fidel told me that he should have had that crib, and the new ball and the rocking horse." She turned around and walked away.

I, however, was left standing there with tears in my eyes. Fidel was having a hard time with Daniel's arrival because it was a blatant reminder of all that he had missed out by not being a part of a loving family as an infant and toddler! He was wishing that he could have come to be a part of our family when he was Daniel's age and gotten a comfy crib, instead of waiting until age 7 to sleep in a bed for the first time. Wow! Talk about taking your breath away!

This is not an uncommon sentiment among our children. Just two days ago, I was in the bedroom of one our teenage daughters when she said: "Mom, I love you. You are the best Mom. I wish I could have been your daughter from the womb." Flattering, but heartwrenching. Our kids deal with regrets that they did nothing to produce. Life was forced on them and they are left to pick up the pieces and put the puzzle back together.

Thank you so much for your prayers that help them through that process and for your financial generosity that helps us walk by their side as the Lord puts them back together.

Our daughter Ana is three years old and loves the nursery rhyme "Humpty Dumpty." We have to read it every night!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Thankfully, this nursery rhyme does not ring true for our children! Our children have suffered fall after fall throughout their short lives - sexual abuse, physical abuse, abandonment, verbal abuse - fall after fall after fall. BUT, with the power, love and help of the King of Kings, His men (you and I) can put them back together again!

It took Fidel over a week to even acknowledge Daniel's presence, but just two months later he is always willing to help take care of Daniel and is quite attentive to Daniel's activities and moods. Praise the King of Kings who can put ANYBODY back together again!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Julie,
This was so beautiful regarding all the children! Heart rending - I am so glad to even be a small part of you and Victor's ministry there in Mexico. Love You, June